The Happiest Baby

This story starts with a prayer I said last night.  I was, yet again, attempting to get Cade to sleep and was fighting a battle with him.  I was feeling frustrated because I knew that I had created bad habits months ago when he was just a few months old that involve him being rocked until he is asleep or taking a bottle to bed to help him fall asleep.  Both I had been warned not to do, but the mother in me couldn't bear to let her child "cry it out".  Last night, I sent up a prayer to God that sounded something like this, "God, help my baby find peace so that he may sleep.  Help me figure out how to help him sleep."  Then today as Cade and I were waiting for our library class to start, we were perusing the "New Books" shelf and a book caught my eye, The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep by Harvey Karp, M.D.  I had heard of the book and had read some great reviews about Dr. Karp and at this point, I was desperate.  I pulled the book off the shelf and stuck it in my bag to check it out.  Upon arriving home and as soon as Cade was down for a nap, I found myself reading the book, absorbing its every word.  While I am still not currently done with the book, I was excited for bedtime because I had learned some new tools to try and I wanted to see if it would work!

Here is a brief rundown of what I've learned so far:

• "Crying it out" is ineffective.  If your baby wants to be comforted, pick them up and comfort them.  Just make sure you put them back to bed while they are still awake.
• Putting them to bed with a bottle is a "no-no".  It is not teaching your child how to self-soothe themselves back to sleep.
• White noise is needed!  This can be lullabies or a comforting sound.
• A bedtime routine is NEEDED!  This involves many things:
• Reducing lights and sounds (No TV!) an hour before bed.
• Your child should be dressed and diaper changed a half hour prior to bed.
• Spend time with your child doing quiet activities such as quiet play or reading books.  It is okay to rock your child and give them a bottle before bed!  Just don't put them to bed after they fall asleep and do not let them take a bottle to bed! 

This is what Cade's bedtime routine looked like tonight:

1. At 7:00PM, we took a bath.
2. By 7:25PM, he was bathed, lotioned up, and dressed.   I lotioned him up with Johnson's Vanilla Oatmeal lotion using a bit of massaging touches to help calm him.
3. We played together with blocks (quiet play) until about 7:35PM.
4. After quiet play, we sat together in the rocking chair and read our library books.
5. At 7:45PM, I made his nightly bottle, bundled him up in his quilt, and gave him is lovey, a small tag blanket.  I rocked him, sang lullabies, and talked quietly to him as he ate his bottle.
6. Following his bottle, I put him in his bed.  He was still awake and did not take to this too well at first.  Using Dr. Karp's suggestion, when he became upset, I picked him up and rocked him until he calmed down and was close to falling asleep again.  Then I put him back in his bed awake.  It took about four tries of putting him to bed and then having to pick him back up to comfort him until he finally laid in his bed and fell asleep without being in my arms.

It is now nearly two hours later and he has yet to wake up!  This is an accomplishment so far since he has woken up these past few nights about an hour after he was put to bed screaming because Mommy was no where to be found.  AND we went to sleep in the crib with no bottle!

I feel like I am selling the book and maybe I am, but I'm already impressed with how well Cade did after one night after trying a new bedtime routine.  I admit, I was that mom guilty of having the TV on while getting him ready for bed before tonight.  I was guilty of putting him to bed overtired at times in hopes he would sleep longer at night.  I was guilty of rocking him to sleep and them putting him in his crib.  I was guilty of giving him a bottle in his crib and letting that put him to sleep.  Dr. Karp's book inspired to me to try harder at helping my child find peace at bedtime.  And honestly, I didn't just happen upon that book today at the library.  God put it there for me to find.

I'll keep you posted on how our new routine goes over the next few weeks and I hope that I continue to sing the praises of this book.

Motherhood

I'm sleep deprived.  Yet, here I am posting on my blog rather than using this time when the baby is asleep to get some sleep too.

Today was rough.  And that's an understatement.  After two days of Cade having non-stop low grade fevers, teething, being clingy, not eating...the list goes on and on.  I finally had a breakdown today. Cade woke up after only 20 minutes of napping (and he usually naps at least an hour to two hours at a time) and it went all down hill from there.  After nearly 30 minutes of inconsolable crying, I was at my wits end.  My husband, a day sleeper, woke up to all the crying and came out of the bedroom and Cade immediately went to him and all was fine.  I broke down crying and I remember saying "I can't do this anymore!" as I handed him over.  At the time, I really thought I couldn't do this anymore.  I couldn't find a way to make my baby feel at peace.  I couldn't find a way to help stop the tears.  He didn't want me to comfort him.  It was an awful feeling.  And I was just done.  Done.

Kyle took him into the bedroom with him and from my curled up position on the couch with tears on my face, I could hear them laughing and giggling.  I started feeling remorse and felt like a bad mom for giving up, for getting so frustrated so easily.  It took awhile, but I got back into the swing of things.  And Kyle took it in stride.  He never once became angry that his sleep was interrupted.  He didn't look at me as if I was ridiculous for crying over something like this.  Instead, he took Cade and gave me time to regain my composure and when I was ready to join them again, he kissed my forehead as if to say "it's okay babe.  You're allowed to have bad moments." and all was forgotten.

Part of me still feels guilty, but I now understand, what happened today is normal, if not expected.  I am a "single mom" during the week.  I don't get the luxury of passing Cade off to his father when I need a breather and after several days, my pent up frustration, despair, and anger all came to the surface.  In the end, I thank God that I do have Kyle to save me when it finally becomes too much.  He truly is an amazing man.